this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
