I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
