Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
