whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
