Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
