just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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