its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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