we're blogging at a bar
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
