apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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