You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
