Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
