Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
