I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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