There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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