Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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