First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
