i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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