Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
