This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
