I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
