Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
