I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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