I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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