I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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