the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
