no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
