I wish I only lived at night.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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