but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize