Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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