I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
