I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
