im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize