no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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