We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
