Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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