how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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