Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize