There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
