the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
