It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
