we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
