I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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