Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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