Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
