I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
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