I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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