people are starting to question the shark bite story
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
