...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
