did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
