You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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