carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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