did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
