She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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