Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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