I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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