it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
