Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
