Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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