how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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