rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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