I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Randomize
