marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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