Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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