wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
